Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Why doesn't anybody like me?

I am, if you take the statistical average of the opinions of all people I have known, a logical and rational person. To illustrate the point with an example, if you switch on the telly and it doesn't work, I am not the person likely to pull out the plug from the electrical socket and check for current with my fingers. Yes sir / madam, I have common sense. That's why, when I woke up this morning and saw that it was raining hard, I dressed up for work, drove my bike to the office (I even wore a rain jacket and waterproof track pants), changed into my short and T-shirt, and went running in the rain.

No, seriously, I did. It was just too beautiful a weather not to do that. You have to see Koregaon Park lanes to understand what I mean. Most lanes are lined with huge Banyan trees (among others), their roots hanging down almost to the ground. Anyway, the weather was perfect for running (unless one happened to be allergic to water), the temperature right (constant drizzle keeps the body cool and one can run longer), and the roads empty.

This is one of the things that I did during the run today -- while running, I would brush my head under the roots of these trees and cold water drops would trickle down onto my head. I can't put my finger on the exact words which can describe the feeling, so I will tell you what to do to understand how I felt. Go to the bathroom, turn on the shower... wait, I got the exact words for describing the feeling -- it was like taking a shower with cold water running onto your head.

Anyway, so I ran 8.5 kms, enjoyed the scenery thoroughly and even saw some lovely birds in the tree. Also, as a validation for my passion for things in life, I reproduce for you the conversations I had before, during and after the run.

Conversation #1 -- I called up my wife on her cellphone. She was on her way to the office.

Me: Hey hon. It's raining so I am thinking of going for a run.
Wife: Really? Wow! I am so proud of you. I have never felt this kind of attraction for you before. In fact, do you think I could turn around, come home and let's try and have a baby right now?
Me: I don't think so. I think we will have to wait for 9 months like everybody else. Duh!
Wife: Oh, Anurag, that's too bad. Still, you are my hero for doing this. I love you.

Conversation #2 -- I am running through one of the lanes, and this man going to wok on his bicycle rides next to me.

Man: Hello, sir. I observe that you are so fond of good health that you are going for your evening run in the rain, even though you are a little late.
Me: Thanks, I always appreciate understanding people.
Man: I am proud that there are still people in this country who take time out for their well being. God bless you.
Me: Thanks.

Conversation #3 -- I am running on the portion of North main road between two lanes, and veer a bit to the center of the road to avoid a deep puddle of water, and notice that I may have to compete with a car for space on the road. Car driver brings the car to a halt behind me and allows me to go through.

Me: Thanks a lot, buddy.
Car person: You are welcome. This is the least I can do for the youth of our coutry. I hope other people do this for you too. If not, please let me know. I am a local politican and I can construct walkways all over the city for people like you.
Me: I am blown away with a gesture like this. Could you, really?
Car person: No.
Me: Well, I guess I can't ask for everything. Could you at least build roads all over the city?
Car person: No.
Me: Well, just the fact that you stopped for a person running on the road should be enough to make me feel good. Thanks.
Car person: You are welcome.

Conversation #4 -- In front of Osho Ashram is a fountain which I fell in while running, back in 1999. Everytime I run in front of it, the fountain makes lewd remarks about me.

Fountain: Hi there, sweetheart.
Me: I am not your sweetheart.
Fountain: Come here, I will show you something.
Me: Get away from me.
Fountain: Come here, I have depths you don't know about.
Me: Help!

Conversation #5 -- I came back to the office and called up mom.

Me: Ma, this is me. I went running in the rain.
Ma: I always knew you were special, son. I am so proud to have a son like you who indulges in his hobbies, come what may.
Me: Thanks ma, it is because of how you brought me up, I guess. I just wanted to thank you for that.
Ma: You are most welcome, son.


Well, most conversations did not go the way they are depicted, to be honest with you. Here are the real conversations.


Conversation #1 -- I called up my wife on her cellphone. She was on her way to the office.

Me: Hey hon. It's raining so I am thinking of going for a run.
Wife: Are you out of your mind? Anurag, if you fall ill again, I will kill you. If you recover, I will kill you again.
Me: Just a small jog, hon. I'll pop out for a quick run and be back.
Wife: I knew you wouldn't listen to me. I am sick of you. Why can't you be like other women's husbands? Why can't you, for once, sit in front of the television and drink beer and vegetate.
Me: In the morning? That's my evening routine.
Wife: Do whatever you want, Anurag, but don't come complaining to me if you fall ill.

Conversation #2 -- I am running through one of the lanes, and this man going to wok on his bicycle rides next to me.

Man: Are you out of your mind? (He didn't really say this, but this is what his looks said).
Me: What's your problem? Can't a person just go for a run? Would you be as judgemental if I were running and it were not raining? (I didn't say this either, but this is how I would have replied).

Conversation #3 -- I am running on the portion of North main road between two lanes, and veer a bit to the center of the road to avoid a deep puddle of water, and notice that I may have to compete with a car for space on the road.

Car person: HOOOOOOOOOOONK!
Me: (lets the car go)
Car person: @!(@Car person: @!(@$&#R@
Car: Sissy.

Conversation #4 -- In front of Osho Ashram is a fountain which I fell in while running, back in 1999. Everytime I run in front of it, the fountain makes lewd remarks about me.

Fountain: Hi there, sweetheart.
Me: I am not your sweetheart.
Fountain: Come here, I will show you something.
Me: Get away from me.
Fountain: Come here, I have depths you don't know about.
Me: Help!

Conversation #5 -- I came back to the office and called up mom.

Me: Ma, this is me. I went running in the rain.
Ma: Who is this?
Me: Me, Anurag.
Ma: We disowned you when you went running in 1999 and fell in the fountain. Don't call us again.
Me: Ma!

Anyway, I just wanted to share with you, dear reader, that I too am a normal person who has his own quirks, granted, but who doesn't? Are you perfect? Is that what you are saying? What is wrong with running? So what if it were raining? Nobody complains about swimmers -- they are, like, completely inside water. Nobody loves me. I always knew it. Go away, I am not talking to you.

Humph.

31 Comments:

At 5:13 AM, Blogger Senthil said...

Ah. This reminds me of conversations I have with friends I take to the Koregaon park Barista:

Me: See that fountain? Anurag fell into it once.

Friend: What? That fountain? How did he manage that?

Me: I don't know, man - weird chap. Says he was washing his face after a jog when he slipped and fell in.

Friend: Jog? He jogs?

Me: Told you - weird sort of chap.

 
At 8:02 AM, Blogger GettingThere said...

HAHAHAHA! Reeeeeeally funny :D ROTFLMAO. I love soaking in th rain, too. Do you think it is some kind of hereditary defect?

 
At 8:35 AM, Blogger Manish Bhatt said...

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

 
At 9:08 AM, Blogger Dilip D'Souza said...

So that was you running on the road chattering on your damned cellphone while I tried to edge my sleek Premier Padmini (1978 model, 58,000 km) past you! Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you got the wrong number: you THOUGHT it was your wife, but it was really me. Let it be our secret.

 
At 12:44 PM, Blogger Megha said...

LOL! :) Very funny! And I can totally relate! Only the love going for a jog in the rain part though. Not the washing face in fountain and falling in. Tsk tsk :)

 
At 1:43 PM, Blogger Jithu said...

ha ha.. hilarious!!

 
At 3:18 PM, Blogger @mit said...

Cool - I loved it...

My wife loves the rainy season, but hates to get wet... :-(. I do not understand what part of the rainy weather she loves. If you love rain you better get wet is my funda..

Actually it was raining cats and dogs (or was it cows and bulls - dig at amit varma's blog :-)) ...anyways - it was raining cats and dogs in minneapolis the other day and my wife was busy with something else....so I took my 1 1/2 year old daughter to get wet in the rain and we both enjoyed it like hell. She was happy that she has a crazy father....

Now comes the sad part....she has severe cold and my wife wants to disown me ... help

 
At 8:57 PM, Blogger Rajesh J Advani said...

LOL! :)

Now I'm wishing for the rain :)

 
At 1:08 AM, Blogger Satya said...

very very cool anurag
and koregaon who can resist

i wish i cld also run there again
or bike there
or just sat at the damn barista and play guitar

sigh

 
At 2:59 AM, Anonymous Anirudh said...

FUNNY!

 
At 3:12 AM, Blogger Anurag said...

Senthil: For your benefit, I will have you know that I was running when I thought I'd bend and splash some water on my face from the fountain.

Gettingthere: What defect?

Manish: So it was you in the lane, on the bike!!!

Dilip: So it was you inside hte sleel Premier Padmini (1978 model, 58,000 km)! No wonder. BTW, only 58 Mm in 27 years?

Megha: Please refer to my reply to Senthil's comment. I was running, and not just standing there washing my face when, whoosh, I fell in. :(

Jithu: Thanks.

@mit: Once, when I was in New Hampshire, I was preparing some tea in the kitchen, when it suddently started pouring. I went outside, took off my t-shirt and lay on top of my car (had just come back from a run,. so was too tired to do anything else). My neighbors were really surprised, for some reason.

Rajesh: I'm sure you will have you share of rains soon. Isn't it a good thing when it doesn't rain in NY?

Satya: Barista was awesome yesterday. Went there around noon.

Anirudh: Thanks. :)

 
At 5:05 PM, Blogger @mit said...

Man - You are gonna get me divorced :-) and may be you too

I liked it your idea and thought I will run it by my wife and she gave me a look of "I should sue my dad for not stopping me from marrying you" and then she said that she needs your wifes number....

But the next time it rains ... you bet I will be getting wet and I have a feeling my daughter will too

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger GettingThere said...

Defect? Did I write defect? NO! I meant perfection;)

I remember I took my daughter out in the rain for the first time when she was barely 5 months old. She loved it!!

@mit: If it is any consolation, let me give you some scientific facts - cold is caused by viruses. NOT by getting wet. NOT by going out in the cold with wet hair. NOT by drinking cold water in the winter. AND ABSOLUTELY NOT by rolling around in the snow. I give these facts to my husband often - specially after my daughter gets a runny nose after playing in the snow for too long :D

 
At 10:56 PM, Blogger The Arbit Council said...

ho ho ho awesome :D

 
At 2:08 AM, Anonymous runa said...

Didcha ever try the south main road... thats comparitively calmer :)

 
At 3:02 AM, Blogger Anurag said...

@mit: Really? That bad, huh? :)

gettingthere: You are absolutely right. I never followed mom's instructions to wait for the body to cool down before drinking water, to wait for the body to cool down before taking a shower, to not eat ice-creams in winter. All a load of myths.

Runa: Absolutely. I run between the two main roads on all lanes. I do have to run on the main roads to switch the lanes, though.

 
At 7:42 AM, Blogger Mint Chutney said...

I love that Senthil is perpetuating the legend of you and the fountain.

 
At 11:14 PM, Blogger Dips said...

That was good one..and falling in the fountain part .. too funny..:D
And i think you didnt venture to the lane 7..which is filled with pot-holes..and i was stuck in a traffic jam there yesterday..of all the places !

 
At 3:32 AM, Blogger Rat said...

Hahah. Sounds like fun though I'm not sure I would have done that myself.
Dance around in the rain maybe. Jog!! Never.

 
At 9:09 AM, Anonymous shrik said...

I absolutely love swimming in the rain. The (non-rain)water is usually warmer than the (rain)water, and thus seems a secure place to be in. Even more so when there is hail.

 
At 4:08 AM, Blogger Vinu said...

Hey..Cool write up....

Somehow bumped to your blog and that was worth....

Enjoyed reading your coversations..During the first parts i thought how lucky you are...then while going thru second part realised everyone hv th same fate like me...esp the scolding parts...

One thing i love to do in rains is to ride my bike fast.The feeling of rain drops piercing onto ur face is amazing...

 
At 11:14 AM, Blogger GettingThere said...

I remember, when I was working with a company in my home town Jodhpur, I used to wait for it to begin raining in the evening before starting for home so I could soak in it. That season, it rained between 5-5:30pm almost 3 times a week, making it a perfect opportunity.

 
At 8:02 AM, Blogger GettingThere said...

Come on! We like you. We LOVE you. So STOP thinking over this one and go ahead - post a new one!!

Just kidding kiddo. I know you are busy. Take your time.

 
At 11:57 PM, Blogger Mandar said...

very well written, anurag. hilarious. :)

and hey! EVERYBODY loves you. hope that makes you feel better. :)

 
At 12:29 AM, Blogger Vinu said...

Hey nice post...

He he...i havnt thought abt these much chances of reactions from a girl while uttering those words...anyways i hvnt had idea abt this much options...

But meanwhile let me ask something...why girls expect guys to propose...I mean cant it be reversed....Like girls proposing guys..hmm...maybe nt a gud etiquette for male chauvinism..hmm..

 
At 6:42 AM, Blogger Mint Chutney said...

No new posts. Hmm...Has anyone checked to see if Anurag fell into the fountain again?

 
At 9:43 PM, Blogger tmww said...

Yo Dawg!!
me, prem, amit, janak and a couple of guys from CAD/PPIC are going to Sikkim early October.
Will keep you updated on this.. :)
Chill

 
At 1:17 AM, Blogger The Arbit Council said...

update da!

 
At 10:50 PM, Blogger Three drinks ahead...as always! said...

Oh, you poor, poor thing, Anurag! :)

I second Mint Chutney's proposal. Somebody please look to see if Anurag has had another encounter with the fountain?

 
At 4:31 AM, Blogger Anurag said...

Thank you everone for enquiring about the well being of the fountain. I am fine, I did not go and harass the fountain any further. I was just busy.

:))

 
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