Why doesn't anybody like me?

I am, if you take the statistical average of the opinions of all people I have known, a logical and rational person. To illustrate the point with an example, if you switch on the telly and it doesn't work, I am not the person likely to pull out the plug from the electrical socket and check for current with my fingers. Yes sir / madam, I have common sense. That's why, when I woke up this morning and saw that it was raining hard, I dressed up for work, drove my bike to the office (I even wore a rain jacket and waterproof track pants), changed into my short and T-shirt, and went running in the rain.

No, seriously, I did. It was just too beautiful a weather not to do that. You have to see Koregaon Park lanes to understand what I mean. Most lanes are lined with huge Banyan trees (among others), their roots hanging down almost to the ground. Anyway, the weather was perfect for running (unless one happened to be allergic to water), the temperature right (constant drizzle keeps the body cool and one can run longer), and the roads empty.

This is one of the things that I did during the run today -- while running, I would brush my head under the roots of these trees and cold water drops would trickle down onto my head. I can't put my finger on the exact words which can describe the feeling, so I will tell you what to do to understand how I felt. Go to the bathroom, turn on the shower... wait, I got the exact words for describing the feeling -- it was like taking a shower with cold water running onto your head.

Anyway, so I ran 8.5 kms, enjoyed the scenery thoroughly and even saw some lovely birds in the tree. Also, as a validation for my passion for things in life, I reproduce for you the conversations I had before, during and after the run.

Conversation #1 -- I called up my wife on her cellphone. She was on her way to the office.

Me: Hey hon. It's raining so I am thinking of going for a run.
Wife: Really? Wow! I am so proud of you. I have never felt this kind of attraction for you before. In fact, do you think I could turn around, come home and let's try and have a baby right now?
Me: I don't think so. I think we will have to wait for 9 months like everybody else. Duh!
Wife: Oh, Anurag, that's too bad. Still, you are my hero for doing this. I love you.

Conversation #2 -- I am running through one of the lanes, and this man going to wok on his bicycle rides next to me.

Man: Hello, sir. I observe that you are so fond of good health that you are going for your evening run in the rain, even though you are a little late.
Me: Thanks, I always appreciate understanding people.
Man: I am proud that there are still people in this country who take time out for their well being. God bless you.
Me: Thanks.

Conversation #3 -- I am running on the portion of North main road between two lanes, and veer a bit to the center of the road to avoid a deep puddle of water, and notice that I may have to compete with a car for space on the road. Car driver brings the car to a halt behind me and allows me to go through.

Me: Thanks a lot, buddy.
Car person: You are welcome. This is the least I can do for the youth of our coutry. I hope other people do this for you too. If not, please let me know. I am a local politican and I can construct walkways all over the city for people like you.
Me: I am blown away with a gesture like this. Could you, really?
Car person: No.
Me: Well, I guess I can't ask for everything. Could you at least build roads all over the city?
Car person: No.
Me: Well, just the fact that you stopped for a person running on the road should be enough to make me feel good. Thanks.
Car person: You are welcome.

Conversation #4 -- In front of Osho Ashram is a fountain which I fell in while running, back in 1999. Everytime I run in front of it, the fountain makes lewd remarks about me.

Fountain: Hi there, sweetheart.
Me: I am not your sweetheart.
Fountain: Come here, I will show you something.
Me: Get away from me.
Fountain: Come here, I have depths you don't know about.
Me: Help!

Conversation #5 -- I came back to the office and called up mom.

Me: Ma, this is me. I went running in the rain.
Ma: I always knew you were special, son. I am so proud to have a son like you who indulges in his hobbies, come what may.
Me: Thanks ma, it is because of how you brought me up, I guess. I just wanted to thank you for that.
Ma: You are most welcome, son.


Well, most conversations did not go the way they are depicted, to be honest with you. Here are the real conversations.


Conversation #1 -- I called up my wife on her cellphone. She was on her way to the office.

Me: Hey hon. It's raining so I am thinking of going for a run.
Wife: Are you out of your mind? Anurag, if you fall ill again, I will kill you. If you recover, I will kill you again.
Me: Just a small jog, hon. I'll pop out for a quick run and be back.
Wife: I knew you wouldn't listen to me. I am sick of you. Why can't you be like other women's husbands? Why can't you, for once, sit in front of the television and drink beer and vegetate.
Me: In the morning? That's my evening routine.
Wife: Do whatever you want, Anurag, but don't come complaining to me if you fall ill.

Conversation #2 -- I am running through one of the lanes, and this man going to wok on his bicycle rides next to me.

Man: Are you out of your mind? (He didn't really say this, but this is what his looks said).
Me: What's your problem? Can't a person just go for a run? Would you be as judgemental if I were running and it were not raining? (I didn't say this either, but this is how I would have replied).

Conversation #3 -- I am running on the portion of North main road between two lanes, and veer a bit to the center of the road to avoid a deep puddle of water, and notice that I may have to compete with a car for space on the road.

Car person: HOOOOOOOOOOONK!
Me: (lets the car go)
Car person: @!(@Car person: @!(@$&#R@
Car: Sissy.

Conversation #4 -- In front of Osho Ashram is a fountain which I fell in while running, back in 1999. Everytime I run in front of it, the fountain makes lewd remarks about me.

Fountain: Hi there, sweetheart.
Me: I am not your sweetheart.
Fountain: Come here, I will show you something.
Me: Get away from me.
Fountain: Come here, I have depths you don't know about.
Me: Help!

Conversation #5 -- I came back to the office and called up mom.

Me: Ma, this is me. I went running in the rain.
Ma: Who is this?
Me: Me, Anurag.
Ma: We disowned you when you went running in 1999 and fell in the fountain. Don't call us again.
Me: Ma!

Anyway, I just wanted to share with you, dear reader, that I too am a normal person who has his own quirks, granted, but who doesn't? Are you perfect? Is that what you are saying? What is wrong with running? So what if it were raining? Nobody complains about swimmers -- they are, like, completely inside water. Nobody loves me. I always knew it. Go away, I am not talking to you.

Humph.