Today

This is for today. Today, I hope you read this.

If today came up to me in a pub and tried to pick on me while I was sitting on a stool drinking my pale-ale (which I really like, BTW -- the ale, not the stool), I would punch it in the face (today, that is, not the stool or the ale). It would not matter if today was accompanied by yesterday and tomorrow, even if I could really get screwed by tomorrow. Today has got on my nerves and it definitely has no business disturbing me while I sip my pale-ale. I would, however, be wary of yesterday, as it would be behind me. The wise thing to do would be to drag today into the bathroom and beat the crap out of it -- even if it called for help, tomorrow would never come.

Toughness is overrated

When the going gets tough, why doesn't everybody just go to sleep? It really works very well for me. In fact, just to make sure that I am prepared for tough times, I go to sleep randomly, every now and then.

Stand by me

Some of you people are too darn adamant and won't let me retire in peace from the illustrious blogging career that I had. When will you realize that I suffer for you, dear readers, day and night, sleeping and awake? Why is that not enough for you? Even Curious Gawker, my favourite blogger by far, takes two hours between consecutive posts, so how can I be expected to write every two months?

Anyway, came across this beautiful video at Boing Boing (for those three of you who do not follow that blog). Enjoy.

And yes, regular programming resumes today, which means that the next post should be out anytime in 2011. Hold your breath.

Game show

I have thought of a new game show which I am sure will be a massive hit, given the kind of sadistic pleasure people get out of seeing others make fools of themselves.

This is the game format:

Each contestant will be asked to choose from between two cages inside which the person can not see. One cage will have a nice birdie. The other one a wild beast. If the contestant chooses the bird, he/she gets a big amount of money and the bird. Otherwise the beast eats the contestant.

This is all I have so far. And yes, the name too. The show will be called "Parinda ya darinda".

So...

So you think you are better than me because you visited this blog many times since July 2, only to find that I had not updated it! Well, I have news for you sunshine: you are right. I am sorry. Please come back. Shower me with the same love and affection that you had in your free time a year back. I need those five minutes of your time again, the five minutes which you spend reading the crap here and getting convinced that sleep was not that bad an option. I miss you.

If pleading is not enough to get you back in my life, would it help you to know that I will undergo a life altering change in two days? In two days. That is not so far away. In fact, it will be after two days from now that most of you will read this post and regret the fact that your sympathies were not with me in times of need. A lot can happen in two days, Einstein, and here is a list of possible things which can happen in two days (just to drive the point home, really, but please remember that this is not an exhaustive list of things that can happen in two days):

1. Childbirth (if you have done the needful in the past year or so).
2. Lehman Brothers meltdown.
3. A Cricket test match between India and Australia.
4. Your turn to be attended at the enquiry window of a government office.

Now, to come to the life altering change mentioned earlier in the post -- I am scheduled to undergo surgery to replace a torn ligament in my right knee on Monday morning. Now, do you feel bad? I didn't think so. :(

Why are you still here, then?

If it is you, Reliance Communication, then please be aware that I am not paying your outstanding bill till you call and apologize for the fake charges on the internet bill that you sent me. Not just that, I am now transmitting all my IP packets through your friend, Tata Communications. We've been at it for four months now and I am very happy with him/her (choose one to suit your sexual orientation). He/she cares for my packets. He/she keeps track of them and accounts for them well.

If it is you, Roger Federer, keeping a tab on whether I am still singing your praises, please rest assured that you are in my thoughts at least once each waking hour. Well done at NYC, keep it up, and what's with all the paranoia? I was a fan a year back, I am a fan now, so stop worrying and concentrate on the important things (like more Grand Slam titles, as we really need to get past Pete soon).

If it is you, Mom/Dad, all those rumours about being a gay, drunk, drug-addict are totally baseless. Tata Communications is just a friend.

If you are not Reliance/Roger/Mom/Dad, then I am sorry. Maybe I came across a little harsh earlier. I will be in hospital for a few days, then come out and walk with the help of a crutch for a month, but will be fit and firing in nine months' time. That's perfectly in time for the 2010 Mumbai half-marathon training. See you there.

I am sleepy.
Ciao.

Dog

A very good way to spend four and a half minutes of your life

Watch this video. I came across this when surfing BoingBoing. One of the best videos I have seen of late.

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

I'm excited

This one is for all my fellow programmers

I have decided to come up with a software to keep track of your wardrobe. With a click of the mouse you should be able to find the exact location of your shirt, shoes or accessories. All of your belongings will be RFID tagged. The software will be easy to use and imaginative. While testing this software on my own belongings, I tried to locate my Senthil and Shrik's boxer shorts. Due to a bug, the software was not able to locate the desired object and the following message was displayed on the computer screen:

Error: Undie-find error!

Simple...

Simple can be very beautiful. Much more than elaborate, at times. If you agree, go watch these three movies. Don't ask why, just watch them.

Italian for beginners
The story of the weeping camel
Mostly Martha (the original of this poor remake)

My biggest secret revealed online

I feel like a man trapped inside a man's body. There, I said it.