Saturday, September 20, 2008


So you think you are better than me because you visited this blog many times since July 2, only to find that I had not updated it! Well, I have news for you sunshine: you are right. I am sorry. Please come back. Shower me with the same love and affection that you had in your free time a year back. I need those five minutes of your time again, the five minutes which you spend reading the crap here and getting convinced that sleep was not that bad an option. I miss you.

If pleading is not enough to get you back in my life, would it help you to know that I will undergo a life altering change in two days? In two days. That is not so far away. In fact, it will be after two days from now that most of you will read this post and regret the fact that your sympathies were not with me in times of need. A lot can happen in two days, Einstein, and here is a list of possible things which can happen in two days (just to drive the point home, really, but please remember that this is not an exhaustive list of things that can happen in two days):

1. Childbirth (if you have done the needful in the past year or so).
2. Lehman Brothers meltdown.
3. A Cricket test match between India and Australia.
4. Your turn to be attended at the enquiry window of a government office.

Now, to come to the life altering change mentioned earlier in the post -- I am scheduled to undergo surgery to replace a torn ligament in my right knee on Monday morning. Now, do you feel bad? I didn't think so. :(

Why are you still here, then?

If it is you, Reliance Communication, then please be aware that I am not paying your outstanding bill till you call and apologize for the fake charges on the internet bill that you sent me. Not just that, I am now transmitting all my IP packets through your friend, Tata Communications. We've been at it for four months now and I am very happy with him/her (choose one to suit your sexual orientation). He/she cares for my packets. He/she keeps track of them and accounts for them well.

If it is you, Roger Federer, keeping a tab on whether I am still singing your praises, please rest assured that you are in my thoughts at least once each waking hour. Well done at NYC, keep it up, and what's with all the paranoia? I was a fan a year back, I am a fan now, so stop worrying and concentrate on the important things (like more Grand Slam titles, as we really need to get past Pete soon).

If it is you, Mom/Dad, all those rumours about being a gay, drunk, drug-addict are totally baseless. Tata Communications is just a friend.

If you are not Reliance/Roger/Mom/Dad, then I am sorry. Maybe I came across a little harsh earlier. I will be in hospital for a few days, then come out and walk with the help of a crutch for a month, but will be fit and firing in nine months' time. That's perfectly in time for the 2010 Mumbai half-marathon training. See you there.

I am sleepy.